InnerTeub

…and other things I learn from my friend Kim

In case you don’t know many triathletes, let me introduce to a fun little character trait: We’re all bat shit crazy.

Don’t misunderstand me: we’re high functioning crazy, but crazy none the less. Look no further than 5am mornings in the summer, when a bunch of spandex clad middle aged people mill about in the cold before submerging themselves in freezing water. Or last fall, when I did a training ride that consisted of a 112 mile bike ride and a 6 mile mile run. This took well over 7 hours to do, and I was traveling over the weekend, I took a day off work — unpaid –  for the pleasure. Crazy.

One thing that I think adds heavily to the crazy is what I like to call our “interesting relationship with food.” Triathletes don’t diet; they (we) have a “nutrition plan.” It is crafted after reading books and articles and my god there is planning and timing and counting and of course there isn’t a right way but there are many, many wrong ways to eat and by God you average triathlete is going know and tell you. Paelo. Primal. All carb. No Carb. Eating every two hours no wait three no wait protein directly after workout or um, was it bread but only if you can get it within 15 minutes of finishing wait cavemen didn’t eat bread so it must have been protein but are shakes ok wait no–

I’ll stop there, but trust me on this: we’re crazy, and we really, really care about what we eat.

Now, some of this makes sense. Any athletic lifestyle is going to concern food, as that is directly related to energy stores, and, let’s be real, doing races in spandex only adds to the emphasis. But it can get a little over the top, and frankly, it’s really, really time consuming. Because of my recent impatience with this, I’ve watched the growing emphasis on “organic” and “clean eating” and other trends that are becoming more mainstream (thanks to things like Food, Inc and SuperSize Me) with a sense of weariness, because, frankly, I’m ready for eating to be easy again.

However, as this HAS become more mainstream, I’m starting to wonder this hyper sensitivity to clean meat and veggies isn’t just a byproduct of triathlete neurosis, but is instead, in fact, actually a legitimate thing.

To this end, I went to my go-to meat eatin’ knowledge source: My Friend Kim

Kim lives in Montana, and is one of the few people I know who said “I want to remove myself from the grocery store economy” and then actually, like, did it. Not completely, of course, but she is quite literally putting her money where her mouth is: for the most part, she and her husband only eat meat that they themselves have hunted and cured (or purchased from ranchers they know), they saved up for and recently bought a home that has enough land for a 1500 sq ft garden (which, by the way, is bigger than most apartments I’ve lived in), and is really, really knowledgeable about the food we eat and where it comes from. I emailed her asking for some advice on what I need to think about when shopping for meat, and what I should really pay attention to in order to ensure I’m only purchasing and consuming “good for me” foods, and she sent me back a nice little primer, which I like call “Clean Eating for Yuppies.” Enjoy!

1. Buying “Grass Fed” Meat from your grocer is likely OK

If it’s beef, eat grass-fed and you can be relatively confident you’re eating “good” meat.

There are certifications from USDA, American Grassfed Assoc and others, and while I’m really not sure how widespread these are or what they really mean, it doesn’t really seem like it would be very cost-effective to mistreat grassfed cattle. It’s cheaper to just leave them on the pasture rather than stick them in a feedlot and give them hay that you had to harvest. In winter, it’s still easier to just leave them on the pasture and drop off some hay.

2. Nothing will be better than finding farmers

One thing to look into is a meat CSA. I know they’re becoming more common in big metropolitan areas. Check http://www.localharvest.com and http://www.eatwellguide.

Questions to ask:

· How are the animals raised? Is it his farm? Does he sell for others? They may not have the same practices.

· You want to know how much time the animals spend on pasture (not just access to, but how much time they actually spend there)

· What his stance is on hormones and antibiotics? If it’s beef, you want grass fed and grass finished. Both pigs and chickens eat lots of different things, so you just want to know that they access pasture.

Once you start asking those questions, you’ll know. The farmers/ranchers I’ve talked to are either damned excited to spill all the details or rather defensive. I know who I want to buy from! There’s a guy who sells lamb at our farmer’s market. Someone asked him how his lamb tasted/if it was mutton-y and he said, “No, my lambs are perfect. That’s what I tell them every morning. I go out and pet them on their noses and tell them ‘you’re just perfect.'” You could totally tell that even if the guy wasn’t being literal, that was how he felt and treated his animals. That’s who you want to buy from and just a quick chit-chat can more often than not get you there.

3. Buy a Freezer

A chest freezer cuts 90% of the pain-in-the-ass out of finding good meat. You find your rancher, buy your quarter and don’t sweat it for another 6 months to a year.

4. Chickens Are Stupid

When buying chickens, whole chickens are where it’s at (3 meals for 2 adults + broth from the carcass.)

“Free-range” chicken just means that they have access to the outside. Usually it’s a little door to a small outdoor run but chickens are so stupid that since they were born indoors and everybody else is indoors, they never even use it.

In any case, ‘natural’ doesn’t mean shit and ‘free-range’ and ‘cage-free’ are marginally better than the regular stuff. You want ‘pastured’ poultry, but good luck finding it.

For what it’s worth, chicken farming is one of the nastiest, most polluting agricultural endeavors around. Plus, all the processing that’s done to chickens afterward is done by immigrant workers who do so many repetitive movements they end up with debilitating injuries, but then can’t complain because they’re illegals and ugh, it’s all a mess.

Summary:

I wish it was easier to source healthy and ethical meat and I wish it was cheaper. But it never will be unless people start going through the effort to get it and in so doing, create a major market for it. Of course, it’ll never be a decent price until all the stupid regs are removed that give Big Ag a foothold over the little guy. But if we don’t do it, then the vegetarians are right. And dammit, I hate it when vegetarians are right! Which brings me to my last option: take up hunting.