When I first became a stepmother, my mom told me: “The two things a child needs is to feel safe, and to feel loved, in that order. Everything else is just bonus.” It was great advice, and in the time period before I really knew my stepdaughter (meaning – before I knew what the hell I was doing), it was a great default: make sure she knows shes safe, make sure she knows she’s loved. And, sure enough, as our relationship formed and got stronger, everything else – the bonus- came with it, but having those two cues to start with were enormously helpful to me.
Anyway, I was thinking about this on Saturday, when I heard a THUD behind me and looked over to see my five day old daughter lying face down on the ground between the ottoman in the chair, a position she apparently hurled herself to in a fit Wanting Food And Not Getting It Quick Enough.
Back to the basics, it appears. Sorry, little girl. We’ll try to keep ya safer than that.
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Here’s what’s crazy: I look back on pictures from her birthday (6 days ago), or even just yesterday, and I recognize her immediately. When she first landed on my chest, she felt like a stranger to me, but now I feel like I’ve known her forever.
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Reagan Mary Teubner, born December 3rd — her great-grandmother’s birthday. We’re so happy, you guys. Sleep deprived, a little shell shocked, but so happy.
InnerTeub 