InnerTeub

Quote from triathlon message board:

“Triathlon’s not a hobby, it’s a lifestyle. If you want a hobby, take up knitting”

*****

Email from a friend thinking of registering for next year’s Ironman:

“Getting up for a pre-work visit to the YMCA when it’s dark out sucks; it’s weird to have gels for breakfast, it’s excruciating to be completely exhausted at 2pm and still have 3 hours left of work and a 90 minute workout to go before i can even think of heading home. But I don’t remember that stuff. all I remember is, KAREN WILLARD, FROM ARLINGTON, VIRGINIA, YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!”

*****

Conversation with good friend a month before IMCdA last year:

“Hey, how is Ironman training going?”

“Well, yesterday I almost quit my job and left my husband, so I’d say it’s right on track”

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I came thisclose to registering for another Ironman next year. On the one hand: my good friends and husband are doing it, I miss the community and lifestyle of Ironman training, it’d be cool to redeem myself after last year’s melt down, my work schedule is such that I’d actually have time to devote to training.

On the other hand: I don’t wanna.

I loved training for my first Ironman. Loved it. I’d been in the tri-geek world for several years, the majority of my friends constituted my training partners, and it was an excellent way to fill the time void left when Mike was deployed. I was living alone and only had to balance work and training and feeding myself, and was able to really immerse myself in the goal of: Ironman. I remember getting sad after my last long training weekend, knowing I’d miss having an excuse to go for a 6 hour bike ride with good friends.

Not so much for my second Ironman. Work was more demanding, husband was training too, meaning there were two grumpy and hungry people in our house, (not including the dog.) I didn’t have the luxury of making the whole year about Ironman and nothing but Ironman, and I found the training to be stressful and lonely, and found myself just wanting to get the race over with (which is not a commentary on the actual race week, which was one of the better vacations with friends I’ve ever taken.)

I don’t really want to relive that. And maybe I wouldn’t, but I’m finding it’s getting harder to get myself out for a run, on my bike, to the pool. I don’t want to spend the next year constantly making myself do things I don’t wanna do. So, I’m out. For now. I’ll spend the rest of the summer and fall going on bike rides because I want to, seeing if I can recapture some of the love for riding I used to have, and trail running because I love the woods and swimming because… well, I know there are good reasons for swimming, and maybe I’ll remember what they are. And if I get back to that place of really liking the sport, maybe I’ll think about Ironman again.

Maybe.