InnerTeub

Hey, remember when I told you guys I took my friend Ellie’s Ashtanga yoga class and it killed me dead? (I’m not going to link you there – that sentence is all you need: I took a yoga class, and then I couldn’t walk, the end.)

Well, Ellie, being a good sport that she is, listened politely to me running my mouth off about Crossfit, and then went and took a class herself. Behold:

Oh my God, Liz, I can’t walk. This CrossFit thing is going to kill me.

HA. This is EXACTLY how I felt after her yoga class – it took DAYS for my legs to function again. Clearly, we need to take up like, knitting, or competitive reading, or something that we can do that doesn’t involve bodily harm

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We took my stepdaughter to see a Colorado Rapids* game last night. The what?, you say? Good question: Colorado Rapids are Denver’s professional soccer team, and judging by the fillrate of the stadium I would guess that most people don’t know we HAVE a professional soccer team, but we do, and it is awesome, and you go find your area’s professional soccer league and GO IMMEDIATELY. Here’s why:

1. Soccer is an AWESOME game. It’s fast paced [Liz glares pointedly at baseball], extremely athletic (read: the players look awesome, plus there’s lots of running into each other and aggressive play that doesn’t devolve into mayhem, um, the players look awesome [Liz glares pointedly at hockey]), and captivating to watch. I’m, at best, a lackluster sports fan, but even I was at the edge of my seat and jumping up and cringing and cheering and getting excited as the game moved across the field.

2. Soccer is CHEAP. You guys, Americans still don’t know that this sport is awesome. You can get same day tickets that are GREAT for on the cheap. If you avoid the way overpriced stadium food, you’re looking at a decently cheap night out. And as of checking this morning, it looks like seasons tickets for four people start at $200. For the SEASON. That’s 18 home games for $200. Just for fun, try to get season tickets to your NFL franchise. It ain’t working out to just over $10 a game for four people, I’m guessing.

3. The fans are INTENSE. We sat just off midfield and in between some seasons tickets holders, groups that clearly come to every game. They knew each other (“Dude, you missed a GREAT game last week! The refs were ridiculous!”), they knew the players (“Aw man, come on Drew! Look alive!”), knew enough about the other team to heckle appropriately (“Bet you wish you’d done more speed work NOW, huh Jeff? Go back to sea level where you belong!”) It was great. Soccer is their game and those players are their people. There are no real superstars in local soccer – not really – but it was so much fun to be surrounded by die hard fans – some people with their two year old (“next year we’re going to get him his own ticket, but for now he doesn’t weigh enough to keep the seat down, so we just hold him”), one guy with this three teenage daughters (“guys, no texting! They’re offsides! Watch!”) — it’s been awhile since I watch a live game surrounded by real fans. It was great.

In conclusion: go watch soccer. If you start now, by the time the next World Cup rolls around, you can be appropriately annoyed at the people who only remember that soccer is a sport every four years and legitimately roll your eyes and say “Ugh. Americans.”

**EDIT YES I KNOW THIS FIRST DRAFT OF THIS SPOKE OF THE ROCKIES, NOT THE RAPIDS. UGH, MY BAD.