InnerTeub

A while back, le stepdaughter had mentioned that she might enjoy studying archaeology in college. As luck would have it, her uncle (my oldest brother) is a real live archaeologist, and when not teaching college kids Latin, he runs a dig site in Chianti (note: He is living life correctly) and invited her to come along some summer and see if she actually liked archaeology, or just “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is a good movie” liked archaeology . 

So, that summer is this summer. Mike and le stepdaughter are heading out to Italy to spend two weeks at the dig with my brother and other assorted students, and then from there up to Germany to see some of Mike’s family. It’s a good time, for a trip like this: Mike spent a good amount of time with his German relatives when he was a kid, however in contrast Sammy has not been to Europe at all, and this is a good opportunity and age to take her. That plus getting to spend some time with college kids doing some practical college type work, plus it being her last summer as an only child… it’s a good time for this trip. I’m excited for her, and for him, and insanely jealous that somehow I am missing out on two weeks in Tuscany, BOOO (note: I am living life incorrectly) (Or, to keep with theme: I chose….poorly.)

But enough about them, let’s talk about what this means for ME: a month with no Mike. Boooo. Now, obviously, I will miss his company; he’s my guy, and we have fun together and man, it’s going to be a drag without him, but more logistically relevant, Mike is a great roommate, and in just that capacity alone, he will be very, very missed. In fact, just an hour ago, Mike sent me an email titled: “Things Liz Must Do While Mike Is Away”, and it illustrates so perfectly the division of labor in our house  – as well what it is like to LIVE WITH A GERMAN, OMG – that I’m posting it here, completely unedited.

Things Liz Must Do While Mike Is Away: 

• Check mail DAILY (except Sunday)
• Open mail DAILY (except Sunday) <- this is the most important part.
• Note any bills that must be paid BEFORE Mike gets back.
• Pay bills in #3
• Ensure stove/oven is off every time I leave the house
• Moose food guidelines:
  • approx 2 lbs per day
  • approx makeup of 80% meat, 10% bone, 10% organ (roughly 1 tube of organ stuff every 5 days. note to self- packaging is exactly the same as the chicken)
  • still partially frozen is ok
• Give Moose heartworm/flea and tick on 7/15
• Brush Moose, followed by immediate vacuuming
• Flush toilets upstairs every couple days (keeps seals lubricated)
• Walk around upstairs and check for open windows, a/c is off and fan is “auto”
• Remember how lovely the office looks when un-cluttered
• Turn off lights, specifically in the laundry room, MBR closet, and shower (and any others that are not actively providing useful illumination, too)
• Remember how to open/close gun safe
• Make sure doors/windows are locked every night before bed
• Remember that the bench/seat in the bedroom are for sitting, and not clothing storage
• Close drawers all the way, so as to not encourage spiders to sneak in and lie in wait
• Pretend to be Mike and walk around the house picking up random things (shoes, clothes, books, water glasses, coffee mugs, packaging tear off material, plastic clothing tag thingys) and return them to their rightful place. 
• Most of all… Have Fun!