InnerTeub

We’re back! And it was awesome. It was also, as promised: cold, wet, expensive, and full of drunk Germans, but still: awesome.

I have no pictures of race week, as the camera that contains those pictures is currently undergoing extensive and obsessive editing of the exact right frames to upload so as to show you the most wonderful and descriptive pictures of cars going very very fast (in other words: my husband has that camera), but I do have pictures of our last day in Belgium, which we spent in Brussels.

(A note: the race itself was in Spa, which is about an 90 minutes outside of Brussels. The only thing – and I literally mean the only thing – this town has going on ever is this race, which means there aren’t a lot of accommodations close by; options for lodging include one hotel and tons of farmland that is used for camping. And while the 20,000 person (for serious) shanty town DID look like fun — I mean, come on, of course it did — it was 50 degrees and raining the whole time (WHOLE TIME), and sleeping outside while wet and cold did not appeal to me (shockingly). Also, what good is it traveling for a living if you can’t use hotel points for a free hotel in Europe?)

ANYWAY. The point is: we spent a lot of time driving back and forth, in various states of jet-lag and hangover, and on our last day in country, the last thing we wanted to do was drive anywhere ever again, so we spent the day bumming around Brussels. Since the point of the trip was the Formula One race and Mike’s birthday, I didn’t really schedule any “me” things – I didn’t want any expectations or schedules that might have conflicted with him spending as much time as humanly possible looking at a race track.  HOWEVER when Monday came around and the race was over and we had a whole day check out the city, I was totally stoked, because the one thing I really wanted to do in Brussels was check out the Rene Magritte Museum.

Hey, you know what’s closed on Mondays? Museums.

Le sigh.

We were now faced with a cold day and no plans (Seriously, Belgium, what gives with the weather? It’s August! Why so March-like?), so I reverted back to one of the best lessons my big brother ever taught me: “When you find yourself wandering around a foreign city, your best course of action is to find an Irish bar and stay there.”

Indeed:

So! Perhaps not the most culturally mature way to spend the day, but we did get to drink some good beer (alternating between high end Belgium brews and um, low end British brews), watch some soccer, play some pool, and make friends with random British tourists, who were fun for many reasons, not the least of which being that half of them spoke like Brad Pitt from Snatch. And, MOM, don’t worry, we didn’t spend the WHOLE day like college freshmen on a bender; we did actually spend a fair amount of time poking around some of the prettier parts of Brussels while Mike gave me some impromptu photography lessons (White balance! Who knew?) Of course, that wandering was in SEARCH of the Irish Bar but whatEVER I now have artistically pretty pictures of European streets so it COUNTS as CULTURE, GOD.

And just in case you were worried that I squandered a perfectly good European vacation drinking in a bar, I have a least one piece of evidence that I did, in fact, go to the race:

(This was taken during the one hour that it was actually sunny enough to warrant sunglasses.)

Anyway! All in all a wonderful few days. Mike was hugely geeked out to be at his favorite sport for the first time, and it was fun for me to see him so happy and giggly at what is surely a once in a lifetime experience. Having never really been a Formula One fan myself, I was pleasantly surprised at much I thoroughly enjoyed the entire race week, from the location (cold and wet aside, Spa is GORGEOUS) to the actual race itself, which found me up on my feet cheering and screaming and basically acting like a damn fool. I suppose I wish we’d “made more” of the opportunity to do some culture Europe-y things, but really, getting to spend an entire day with no agenda except to hang out with your best friend ended up being the perfect end to a great vacation.

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It may have been wet, cold, expensive and full of drunk Germans but if you do nothing else before you shuffle off this mortal coil then you must visit Spa – and just don’t forget to try the frites and mayonnaise..

And we’re off!! Belgium was nice enough to host the Belgium Grand Prix in Spa-Francorchamps on my husband’s 40th birthday weekend, and while the planning of this trip led me down a dark, dark rabbit hole of Formula 1 message boards and forums (and I’ve got to tell you I never thought I’d be the type of person to go back and forth on the exact right place to stand on a track to fully appreciate the acceleration out of a turn [and yes I totally used the phrase “corner like it’s on rails” at one point in these discussions but I don’t think the drunk Germans got the reference], but: here I am. I am that person) I am so stupidly excited to see my husband experience his favorite sport live for the first time.

So! I’ve got my earplugs, a euro-trashy shirt collection, and a healthy respect for drunk Germans — it’s going to be awesome.

See you all on the flip side.

(To all potential thieves — don’t rob my house while we’re gone — it’s got a cranky German Shepherd guard dog and  badass house sitter, so let’s just let it be the house that got away, ok?)

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Wow, so that whole post I just wrote about our local soccer team?

Their name is the RAPIDS. Not the Rockies.

And even better, my husband was sitting across from me as I typed it, WEARING THE TEAM SHIRT.

Accurate details are not why you come to the Internet, people.

Anyway, this whole professional soccer thing is starting to remind me of the first half of Major League:

Jake Taylor: I play for the Indians.
Chaire Holloway: Here in Cleveland? I didn’t know they still had a team!
Jake Taylor: Yup, we’ve got uniforms and everything, it’s really great!

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Hey, remember when I told you guys I took my friend Ellie’s Ashtanga yoga class and it killed me dead? (I’m not going to link you there – that sentence is all you need: I took a yoga class, and then I couldn’t walk, the end.)

Well, Ellie, being a good sport that she is, listened politely to me running my mouth off about Crossfit, and then went and took a class herself. Behold:

Oh my God, Liz, I can’t walk. This CrossFit thing is going to kill me.

HA. This is EXACTLY how I felt after her yoga class – it took DAYS for my legs to function again. Clearly, we need to take up like, knitting, or competitive reading, or something that we can do that doesn’t involve bodily harm

****

We took my stepdaughter to see a Colorado Rapids* game last night. The what?, you say? Good question: Colorado Rapids are Denver’s professional soccer team, and judging by the fillrate of the stadium I would guess that most people don’t know we HAVE a professional soccer team, but we do, and it is awesome, and you go find your area’s professional soccer league and GO IMMEDIATELY. Here’s why:

1. Soccer is an AWESOME game. It’s fast paced [Liz glares pointedly at baseball], extremely athletic (read: the players look awesome, plus there’s lots of running into each other and aggressive play that doesn’t devolve into mayhem, um, the players look awesome [Liz glares pointedly at hockey]), and captivating to watch. I’m, at best, a lackluster sports fan, but even I was at the edge of my seat and jumping up and cringing and cheering and getting excited as the game moved across the field.

2. Soccer is CHEAP. You guys, Americans still don’t know that this sport is awesome. You can get same day tickets that are GREAT for on the cheap. If you avoid the way overpriced stadium food, you’re looking at a decently cheap night out. And as of checking this morning, it looks like seasons tickets for four people start at $200. For the SEASON. That’s 18 home games for $200. Just for fun, try to get season tickets to your NFL franchise. It ain’t working out to just over $10 a game for four people, I’m guessing.

3. The fans are INTENSE. We sat just off midfield and in between some seasons tickets holders, groups that clearly come to every game. They knew each other (“Dude, you missed a GREAT game last week! The refs were ridiculous!”), they knew the players (“Aw man, come on Drew! Look alive!”), knew enough about the other team to heckle appropriately (“Bet you wish you’d done more speed work NOW, huh Jeff? Go back to sea level where you belong!”) It was great. Soccer is their game and those players are their people. There are no real superstars in local soccer – not really – but it was so much fun to be surrounded by die hard fans – some people with their two year old (“next year we’re going to get him his own ticket, but for now he doesn’t weigh enough to keep the seat down, so we just hold him”), one guy with this three teenage daughters (“guys, no texting! They’re offsides! Watch!”) — it’s been awhile since I watch a live game surrounded by real fans. It was great.

In conclusion: go watch soccer. If you start now, by the time the next World Cup rolls around, you can be appropriately annoyed at the people who only remember that soccer is a sport every four years and legitimately roll your eyes and say “Ugh. Americans.”

**EDIT YES I KNOW THIS FIRST DRAFT OF THIS SPOKE OF THE ROCKIES, NOT THE RAPIDS. UGH, MY BAD.

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My company recently implemented a new wellness initiative (God, that sounds so corporate: “wellness initiative”): They are asking every employee to undergo biometric health screening, which would provide you with you health stats consisting of: cholesterol, blood pressure, BMI, glucose, and body fat, as well as health counseling to go along with those results.  And when I say “they are asking” what I mean is “It’s voluntary, but if you do not participate, your health premiums will increase by $1,000/year.”

Ok. So. Ignoring the fact that using BMI as a way to assess health is a quick way to get my ass to clench, I generally think this program is a good idea. Sure, the  “counseling” you get regarding your results is simplistic at best — a short explanation of why blood pressure numbers need to be in certain ranges, a summary of ways to lower cholesterol, no real discussion of how or why to improve these things — but the intent is a good one.  It’s well documented that preventative medicine is cheaper (and better) than waiting until dire circumstance (meds for lowering blood pressure are WAY cheaper that medical care that is needed after a stroke), and if a large group of people (say, an entire company) can continually monitor warning signs of major health issues and deal with them up front, that group of people (company) would tend to find the overall cost of health care going down. That’s good; it means either cheaper health care for employees, or more money to invest back in them or the company. Very fair trade off, in my mind.

I also like this because our CEO has been very vocal about her own health struggles, her efforts to lose weight, deal with chronic illnesses, and what making health a priority has meant for her. I think it’s a genuine message from the company that health is a priority and something that is valued, both from a monetary perspective and from a quality of life perspective. So, sure: I can spend an hour of time (an hour of WORK time, which was sanctioned) to get a finger prick and a blood pressure cuff and whatever. No big. Right?

WRONG. Oh my STARS people are PISSED. They are sure that either a) their health results will be stored and used punitively for those who are in poor health; b) any money saved will be used to increase the salaries of “the executives” and not provide cheaper health care plans, and c) it’s not important, ANYWAY, GOD.

I am amazed by this reaction. First, it’s ILLEGAL for the company to store individual health information and/or use that information when assessing individual performance, and the medical professionals doing the screening, as well as HR, have been very clear on this fact. (Frankly, the idea that they would seems ridiculous to me, and it never even occurred to me that their could possibly be such a sinister motive until a conference room of people started discussing it, but I guess I am more of a pollyanna than I realized.) Second: if the company is continually telling you that they’re looking for ways to offer lower health care plans, and this is one way they could do it … why would they take the savings for themselves? There’s easier ways to swindle some cash, right? I mean, in my experience, when there is a chance to show notable savings in any corporate program, executives are really eager to do that, more so than they are to squirrel more cash away in their Swiss Bank accounts.

But mostly, I think, people don’t want to be lectured about health at work. Now, I’m pretty healthy, so I don’t really care – my baseline reaction was “Oh, I should probably check my cholesterol anyway, so I’m glad they’re making it easy for me to do so”, but if I wasn’t — if my health wasn’t strong and I felt like it was something I KNEW was off but I hadn’t DEALT with it yet, I don’t think I’d want a workplace reminder. In fact, I’d just want to go to work, do my job well, and go home, and not effing hear about it. Certainly everyone has the right to say “I’m not going to think about my blood glucose levels, because I don’t wanna” …right? Or is it our responsibility to acknowledge the fact that our health care system is TOTALLY EFFED and if we have the capability to improve our health now to avoid catastrophic illness later, we absolutely owe it to the greater good to do so? I mean, I guess, but … eeeeep.

If I look at this in terms of finances — if the company was basically requiring everyone to go through counseling for their personal finances — I find my reaction to be much more extreme. I don’t think that is an area of my life that I want discussed in a corporate setting. But why not? Certainly the country is in just as big a financial crisis as it is a health crisis, yes? Isn’t it better for the overall collective to have everyone take a preventative look at their finances and have them assessed? Of course. And yet: I’d be just as uncomfortable doing that at work as the majority of my coworkers are having their biomedical screening.

I’m not sure the point of all this, except to ask: Where is the limit of corporate responsibility? My company’s CEO prioritizes health and wants her employees to do the same, and in doing so she can save everyone money. That seems like a no brainer.  But is it? And where is the limit of OUR responsibility? Do we, as employees, have a responsibility to take measures to ensure we keep ourselves as healthy as possible in order to not over burden the system?

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You know how new running socks are like the best things in the world?

(Wait, non-runners, come back! I know you’re all “OMG, LIZ, AGAIN WITH THE RUNNING!” But stick with me I promise this not athlete-specific; I am truly only referencing those running socks that you buy at Target in 10-packs and wear with sneaks, any kind of sneaks, running not required sneaks)

Anyway, those socks are so awesome, when they are new, yes? But they are NEVER new, right? Because: who buys socks? You HAVE socks. You do not need new socks, ever. Even if you have old and grungy socks, you do not need new ones, because old and grungy socks: still socks. It’s not like you’re out of toothpaste and can be all “whatevs, I bet there is still some left on the brush” – that would be ridiculous; you buy new toothpaste. But you will never, ever buy new socks – you have socks. You are not buying new ones.

But I do recall this one time when I did, in fact, by new socks.  I was in high school, and OH, I was so stoked. I picked up a Target six pack of white ankle athletic socks, and man: Big Time. New Socks. And then I lost them. Well, you can’t really LOSE socks in your own home, but my mom is one of those “Everything in it’s place!” kind of people and I was more of one of those “Don’t organize my mess, I know where everything is and if you touch it the system is RUINED!” kind of people (ed note: I am still one of those people) (my mom note: sigh).

ANYWAY. I lost the socks. But then like a week later I saw my older brother, home from college for the summer, come in from a run and pull off: MY SOCKS. He’d worn my BRAND NEW SOCKS running and RUINED them with his stinky BOY feet. When I saw this as was  all “<blood vessels popping> MY NEW SOCKS!!!!”, he looked at me and was like “Yeah, aren’t new socks the best? These were a little small, but I pushed through, I mean: new socks. You know.”

(If you guys ever want to know what being a little sister is like: that, right there, is what being a little sister is like. Being validated in your opinion while still robbed of the joy of it = Little Sisterhood)

ANYWAY. AGAIN. SOCKS. Flash forward to today: I am a grown woman. I have a job. I have cash. I am empowered to SOLVE THIS PROBELM. And so I did! I FINALLY was like “Damnit, that $6.99 is committed, I am buying these damn socks because I am worth it, for the love.”

So! Finally. New socks. A house that does not include my brother. What could possibly go wrong?

Oh, goddamnit.

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Sometimes I feel like this blog turns into a massive dialogue that could be filed under the tag “Well Hello Jeanie, Who’s Bothering You Now?” But today I have nothing to bitch about; instead, I need a favor.

You know how I talk about my book club in DC over and over and over again? Well, one of our members had a majorly bad wreck this weekend while cycling. She is currently looking at a long rehab for Traumatic Brain Injury and a host of physical issues. Her husband posted video of her today and she is awake and talking, which was amazing and wonderful to see, but I know she is in for a long, long few months. So here’s what I need for you to do:

1. Wear your fricken helmet when you ride your bikes. It almost certainly saved her life.

2. Good vibes, prayers, whatever positive energy you have to send to the universe, please send it to my friend. She has a newborn daughter and a long road of recovery and must be so scared. I know I am.

If you guys know Laura, Kyle is posting updates here

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I was recently speaking to a man at my gym about training for an Ironman. He’d never done a triathlon, and was just learning to swim, but all his friends are doing Ironman Canada and he thought it would be fun to do with them. Having done my last IM with a big group of friends, I totally agree – it can be a lot of fun.

However. Now, ok, I hate it when people are discouraging about doing an Ironman. I really do think anyone who wants to train for can do it – I really do. But you have to want to train for it, and given that “training for it” can become an all encompassing life changing time suck, I think it’s really reasonable that people tend to NOT want to train for it.

(When people tell me they have done an Ironman, I do not think “Wow you must be an amazing athlete,” I think “Wow, you have prioritized triathlon pretty heavily in your life.”)

So anyway, I was kind of annoyed when gym dude started arguing with me regarding the amount of training that was needed to do the race. “But I have a family” he whined “I can’t get in six workouts a week plus crossfit.” Which, I mean: that’s fair. Most people can’t. But most people don’t do Ironman races, and hmm, that might be why.

I wanted to tell him to not even bother if he legitimately didn’t have the time. I wanted to tell him that the stress of trying to meet family and work commitments on top of training commitments would overwhelm him, would make this year one of the loneliest of his life. I wanted to tell him that he likely wouldn’t enjoy the process, would come to resent the race, would have years of apologies due to his wife for the selfishness and stress he was about to bring into their lives. But I couldn’t get a word in edgewise because I was too busy listening to him tell me about why the training load I’d described couldn’t possibly work for him, why there had to be another way.

*****

A family member recently told me that they wanted weight loss surgery, they had tried everything simply everything and nothing was working.

Now, I have never been obese and I do not have an appreciation for the work it takes to lose massive amounts of body weight. And I do believe for some people medical intervention can be a blessing. But it’s hard for me to look at someone who wants to lose 40ish pounds and agree, “yes, clearly you have tried everything” when “Everything” = “many, many diets, some lasting almost two months.”

Like I said: I’ve never had to undertake the work that would be needed to lose 40 pounds. But I do understand what it takes to drastically transform the physical part of your life, and when I hear things like this I can’t help but get sad, because, no, no: you are selling yourself short, no.

Two of my favorite bloggers on the web are Ben Does Life and AndreAnna. Sometimes when I’m bored and killing time, I’ll go to the BenDoesLife tumblr and start reading from the beginning. His short posts detail the daily undertaking of someone trying to change his life. When he started he was overweight, wanted nothing more than to fit into the desks at his college, and wasn’t really sure what to do, but he figured it probably started with different eating habits and a trip to the gym. And you read through these daily posts, you see the picture of what it takes to change a life. These short daily doses give a good sense that it was the little things, repeated every day, more than it was a major thunderclap that marked the difference between then and now. It’s a daily diary of What It Takes, and I find it to be one of the more inspiring things on the web.

I feel the same way about AndreAnna. Over the past year I’ve watched (read) her completely overhaul her entire life, in some ways to a degree I cannot even imagine, and I think  “Ok. Right. That’s what it takes.” It’s taken her ten years to figure out what works for her, but she’s done it in fits and starts and is still working it out.

Now, much like I don’t care if gym dude ever does his Ironman, I don’t really care if people want to lose a bunch of weight. Life is full of a lot of pursuits, many far more worthy than triathlons and weight loss. But it really chafes me to consistently hear from people who kind of sort of maybe want to do this major thing that requires a lot of effort, but they never will because man, that’s like a lot of effort, you know?

Well, sure it’s a lot of effort. And you choose to make that effort, or you don’t choose to make that effort, and I don’t really care which one, but don’t bitch to me about how things never change if you’re not going to work to change them.

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I just read an article about a State Department contract officer who awarded $42 million dollars  (spread out over years and contracts) to a company owned by her secret husband and her daughter.

So, here’s my thing: that’s ridiculous, but I get it. If there’s a way to game the system, and you’re the type of person to be a system gamer, you will do this. And man, there is some money to be made ($42M, apparently) in gaming State Dept contracts. (It goes without saying that I’m not one of those people, right? I generally believe most gov contractors are very ethical and provide a lot of value to the country, and will happily talk at length about that if you find it interesting.)

HOWEVER – and I am just thinking outloud here – if you’re going to defraud the government of $42 million dollars and the thing that stands between getting away with it and not getting away with is the government not knowing that you’re married…maybe take your wedding pictures of MySpace? I’m just throwing it out there.

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My most excellent friend Ellie just posted some lovely quotes from Gurujii, and one regarding the strength women gain through Ashtanga yoga spoke true to my little crossfitting heart.

(Note: I do not know what Gurujii is, but if I context clue myself from the quotes and my knowledge that Ellie is a yoga teacher, I’m going to go with: yoga related, possibly Indian, definitely awesome) 

“I do not feel that the more advanced series steal femininity. There is nothing more beautiful than a strong woman…The changes to the female body are only more masculine if you identify strength with the male. If something was lost on the way, it was probably nothing I needed. I love my yoga body. Whether it is attractive to another is not a major concern. Femininity comes from within. My female peers are women of dignity and beauty.”
  -Dena Kingsberg 

I love this … “if I lose a sense of feminity by getting stronger, than I didn’t need that sense anyway”… perfect. I hate the age-old complaint from women that they don’t want to weight train or crossfit because they don’t want to bulk up. Well, I don’t to run myself into invisibility on a treadmill for hours at a time. I want to seen in this world, I want my body to take up space as it moves around. I want to do 50 pull ups in a row (like I did last week) and lift my 100lb dog up on a table (like I did yesterday) and to know when I look at myself what looks back is a body that will continue to do those thing. To be unable to do them because of a fear of bulking up, of looking wrong:  That was nothing I needed, anyway.

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