InnerTeub

There was a discussion on Twitter today regarding vacuum cleaners, specifically the total awesomeness of the Dyson.

Wait, come back: I promise this isn’t boring. Well, it’s only boring if you don’t own a Dyson; if you do, then you know and you will completely understand why a bunch of people getting together to justify the purchase of a $500 vacuum cleaner is of note at all. One twitterer commented that in her ex-husband’s divorce decree, he stipulated that he only wanted two things, the Dog and the Dyson, which: OF COURSE. Those would be the first two things I’d fight over, too. Not that we’re getting divorced but you know HYPOTHETICALLY we’d fight over the dog, the dyson, and the universal remote (although if we’re fighting about that it’s mostly because I’m just being difficult, because I don’t really know how to use it and don’t care, but I know he loves it. Anyway.)

So we’ve been in Colorado for about …two weeks, almost? It’s going well, or, as well as it can go when you’re somewhere completely new. I’m in this strange phase of settled, but not at all, in that I”m so happy to not be traveling and homeless, but I’m not yet sure if this is home. Things I am loving so far:

• The morning mountain air, which is really quite fantastic in this stereotypical clean way that I makes me look forward to walking the Moose every morning
• The 100 acres of open space dog park down the road from our house. Happy dog = happy life
• My new crossfit gym, which seems to have great coaches and peer group and is a nice social element in an otherwise work-from-home kind of day
• We’re 6 miles from the front range, and I get a breathtaking view of the mountains every time I step outside my house. I hope this never gets old
• Twice in the past week I have seen fleece vests over business clothes in a professional setting. Love it.

Things I am working on getting used to:

• I put 300 miles on my in three and half days. Y’all, the state is SPREAD OUT, especially considering DC is about 6 miles wide, and I never used to leave it
• It’s sunny. All. The. Time. Rain is my favorite type of weather, is what I am saying, and it is sunny here, All.The.Time.
• I live in the suburbs. Garage? Awesome. Wal-mart? Not. Granted, I knew this going in, I shouldn’t be shocked, but … it’s the burbs. It’s … different. I feel like I need to have kids like, immediately, if only to reinforce that the convenience factor of living here is worth it, which is slightly conflicting with my “I want to have kids, but not, you know RIGHT NOW” kind of mentality.
• The altitude. Holy gods, this is no joke. I tried to run a 5k time trial last weekend and almost died in the process. Crossfit high intensity workouts have been killing me. There is NO AIR HERE. I’ll adjust, but it’s humbling. And scary. I CANNOT BREATH!

I was home alone last weekend – Mike was off doing some USMC related something or other, and I found myself heading down the road to the state park just a few miles away. It seemed so easy and accessible to head over and do a short mountain hike with the dog before starting the rest of my day. An outing like that used to be a Weekend Plan, but now it’s just kind of a one-off. Later that Saturday, I found myself meeting up with a cousin and going for a short walk/hike outside with the dog, enjoying the unexpected 65 degree weather and a chance to be outside.

It’s been hard to explain to people why we wanted to move west, but if I had to try again, I guess I would use that story as a starting point. There’s not a lot of tangibles to it – “Woo, I went for two long walks!”, but how it felt to me gets to the heart of what we’re doing here. It used to be hard to find ways to get outside and fit in time to be active, and now it’s just…part of the day. It doesn’t tax me mentally and it doesn’t overbook me logistically. (Of course: moving away from all your friends will free up you schedule quite a bit, bu that’s Not My Point, jackhole 😛 )

Anyway, that’s what I’m thinking about these days … trying on this new home, seeing if it fits. So far, so good.

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So, I don’t really want to show you pictures of my house, because it currently looks like a Stuff Bomb exploded and I don’t know how we’ll ever crawl out. Seriously, when I first go to the house, I was drunk on space: laundry room! coat closet! linen closet! (dude. In my entire adult life I have never had a linen closet. I cannot go back, people, I CANNOT.) But then, of course, the movers came, and the afternoon went something like this:

• “Yay my stuff! Bring me my stuff!”
• “Wow, awesome! Look at this stuff I have missed!”
• “Wow, ok, more stuff. Huh, um, put that stuff over there”
• “MORE stuff? Um, how about over …there?”
• “STOP BRINGING ME STUFF. How’d I get so much freaking stuff?”

So while I’m still drunk on space, I’m slightly sobered by the mess currently covering my space.

In light of that, I’d rather show you the view at the end of a trail that runs right outside my house:

Imagine how nice that would look when I find my real camera, eh?

I haven’t longed for the mountains the way Mike has; my opinion of perfection in nature  is a rocky beach with towering evergreens — but in just two days here I still find myself breathless [insert altitude joke here] with the view of the front range. With the mountains in front of us, and the woods behind us (not pictured), I’m starting to love this place.

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Mike flew into Minnesota Saturday morning to pick up me, the jeep and the dog and get us moving (finally. FINALLY!) out to our house in Colorado.

The house we bought two weeks previously, while in Miami. Because of course we did.

Do you know what is in between Minnesota and Colorado? Nothing. That is what in between. Ok, well: Des Moines is there, and that was nice, but otherwise: nothing. As far as I can tell, the land between Minnesota and Colorado is a great windy expanse of nothing. I have spent most of my road tripping years going way juuuust enough over the speed limit that I could maybe slow down in time to be legal if I saw a state trooper; this ride was so windy that I ended up going consistently 10 mph less than the posted limit (75, btw: Hello, the West, I love you), and I STILL got pulled over, this time just a warning to not drive too close to trucks, due to the wind.

We left at 5pm and drove straight through the night, opting to get in really early on Sunday versus late Sunday and then have to scramble to get ready for work Monday morning. And sure enough, we got in around 6am Sunday AM, at which point this latent neat freak that apparently has been lurking inside me (unknown to me or anyone who has ever met me, ever) reared her ugly head, and I became determined that regardless of our “We just drove all night” zombie state, we could not possible spend a single minute in that house until all the shelves in the refrigerator were removed and santized, the bathrooms bleached down, and all the sheets and comforters washed and beds remade.

A word on that: we had sheets and blankets waiting for us. On freshly made, brand new beds. Like, the mattress pad? Had never been used (I washed it anyway, because: duh.) The house we bought had been put on the market by a company that had bought it as part of a corporate relocation package (got that?), and was furnished with staging furniture in the “Crate and Barrel on a corporate credit card” style, which is to say, pretty nice, if extremely neutral. When we made an offer, we stipulated that they had to leave the grill and one of the dressers; they came back and said, “No deal. We’re leaving EVERYTHING, or you can’t have the house.”‘

So I have a fully furnished house. I didn’t necessarily need a fully furnished house, but since everything I own is currently on a moving truck somewhere in the middle of the country, I greatly appreciate that I was able to show up at the house, throw the sheets in the dryer and go: “Cool! We’re home!”

Speaking of: does anyone want a bow-flex, an ab lounge machine, or a dish of pine cones? I’m serious: they left the decorative pine cones. You can have them if you want, my gift to you.

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Ok, so traveling and trying to eat the way I want is hard. It just is. Airports and hotels are not set up to serve you non-fast-foods. Work-place provided breakfasts are danishes and bagels, lunches are some kind of sandwich. It’s a gluten minefield, and it sucks. (Slight aside: did you know that IHOP puts pancake batter in their omelets? So much for eating primally there!)

I wandered off a flight on Saturday morning with about 20 minutes to get to my connecting flight (no direct ticketing: total rookie move). I was tired, I was hungry, I was convinced I was coming down with some kind of flu that specializes in striking JUST when you’re getting really really really busy and have no time to deal with it. And I was certain that the only thing that would make me feel better was a slice of cheese pizza from Sabarro, available right across from my gate.

Ok, now, before you judge me: It was the ONLY food option within walking distance of my gate. And I was grumpy. And I was hungry. And it’s pizza, for fucks sake, and I like pizza. Anyway, so I stumbled up to the counter, ordered, and the guy at the counter looked at me and said “Oh, we don’t serve pizza here”

In my grumpy/tired/sure to be sick state, I just stared at him. “Huh?” I asked. And he laughed and said “Ha ha, I make a joke. Smile, lady! Joke!” But I was so annoyed at a) caving to pizza, b)stupid jokes when I’m clearly tired and hungry and just want my stupid guilty pleasure so shut up already and hand me the goddamn pizza, damnit, and c)the fact that the guy told me to smile (MEN OF THE WORLD: DO NOT TELL ME TO ‘SMILE’ IT’S ANNOYING AND MAKES YOU SOUND LIKE A DOUCHE) that I just walked away, and onto my flight. Hungry, grumpy, and tired, but pizza-less, and I suppose that’s a good thing overall.

(It’s possible I’m not the best version of myself when I’m tired and hungry. Sorry, random pizza man. In the light of a fresh day, I agree that I probably could have given you a half hearted smile.)

My point is: it’s hard when you need to eat and you have no options, but it’s not impossible. I’m not starving, the extra two hours of no food didn’t kill me (though I’m sure my attitude didn’t make for a fun time for those surrounding me! I’m working on it), and was able to get to my hotel and get some food that was good and good for me. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible, and it’s worth it, right?

Speaking of my hotel: I wandered into the Marriot hotel lounge yesterday afternoon, and saw a display of food that was.. well, perfect. Unsalted almonds and pistachios, olives, petite carrots and celery, fresh berries… the exact perfect amount of noshing food, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about it in the slightest. A very far cry from the endless displays of danishes and bagels that seem ever-present in my life these days. It’s the first time on travel I’ve felt like it was easy to make a good eating decision.

Baby steps to a healthier life, people. We’re getting there, slowly.

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Things I Have Learned This Week

• I should never travel in the winter without my snow boots. Every single trip I have taken in the past two months — and that is a lot, given the stupidity that is my current life – I have thought:  “I really wish I had my boots.”

(To be fair: I learned that lesson on my LAST trip, but then I chose to ignore it for the current trip, as the majority of this current trip is going down in Florida, with only one or two days in DC. Of course, DC just got hit with a metric ton of snow [that might actually be a literal statement. I don’t know. The metric system makes as much sense to me as alchemy, biology and home hair blow-outs; I’m glad SOMEONE understands how they work, but that person is not me.])

• Renting a bike in a city in unquestionably dorky, but is TOTALLY the way to go. A part of my work trip to Miami included a half day of team building, which I tend to find really tedious. My ass starts to clench wheneverI hear “Group activities.” I was totally the kid that hid during recess; my aversion to play-time is clearly honestly come by and apparently life-long. ANYWAY, we had to team build, but it was actually fairly awesome, as it was a geo-catching event through historic South Beach.  GPS and Bikes! So fun! Riding around I was struck by how many awesome little corners there are in South Beach, and how much fun it was just to ride my bike around for fun and transportation. Years of triathlon training has changed the way I approach bike riding, and maybe not for the better. It was a blast to just tool around for a bit
• If you need to workout, and you only have 15 minutes, do 3x500m row on the erg on two minutes rest. That shit will kill you dead. I’ve been short of time and workout gear this week, but there’s an erg for use, and I thought I’d remind myself how miserable 2ish minutes can be. (Answer: Very)

It’s my last day in Florida, and while I’m looking forward to hitting DC for both work and play, I’m not as much excited about yet another plane ride and yet another snowy city. I’ve rather been in enjoying the “brisk” 70 degrees down here.  But I’m inching closer and closer to permanent residence and a slight decrease in work travel, both which are welcome events!

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This popped up in my Facebook feed today, and I liked it enough to share.

And yes, I know that’s what Tumblr blogs are for. Shush, you. Embrace the warm fuzzies below:

“This is America, where a white Catholic male Republican judge was murdered on his way to greet a Democratic Jewish woman member of Congress, who was his friend. Her life was saved initially by a 20-year old Mexican-American gay college student, and eventually by a Korean-American combat surgeon, all eulogized by our African American President.” –Mark Shields

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I’ve recently (um, as of yesterday) become obsessed with reading the “Ben Does Life” Tumblr thread backwards – starting at the beginning and scrolling back (forward?) towards the present.

The short story in a nutshell:

On Christmas Day, 2008, I made a promise to my grandmother to get a grip on my obesity, my depression, and my life. I’ve lost 120 pounds, run marathons, and finished an Ironman.

What I like about this blog – much as I like daily food blogs, or daily fitness blogs – is you get a clear picture of how something like this is done, which I find about ten times as inspiring as any after the fact success story.

If you start at the beginning – when Ben was “358 pounds and depressed” (his words), you get a chance to see him going through the daily motions of getting it together. They aren’t long entries – a couple of sentences, maybe a photo, but the overall picture that it draws together is almost an instruction book that starts to read like a “And you can, too.”

One comment I saw on a blog somewhere mentioned that “his entire life is about fitness and that website.” Which…yes, duh. Losing 120 pounds, achieving a goal like an Ironman or a marathon – those aren’t goals you can achieve in a vacuum. These things aren’t hobbies. Knitting is a hobby. Healthy living is a lifestyle.

If you’re looking to kill some time at the end of the day, or refocus any New Years Resolutions, check it out

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Lately I’ve been talking with my parents about (well, it might have now crossed over into the realm of ‘lecturing’, but they’re being polite about it, so) eating and “real food” and the evils of processed grains and sugars and all that over food douchery stuff that Paleo/Primal people (that’s me) will talk your ear off about if you let them. My parents are quite healthy, but food snobbery needs no excuse, and I was eager to share with them an article at Mark’s Daily Apple. This article suggests you don’t necessarily have to accept the slow degradation of your body and your health over time – that some of the issues that require pills and doctor visits and daily annoyances might not be inevitable:

The truth is, if you never undertook to live a Primal lifestyle, the chances are still pretty good that you might enjoy a “relatively comfortable” existence for a substantial part of your life – until the wheels inevitably started to fall off. Millions of people around the world “get by” just fine in their obliviousness on the SAD (Standard American Diet), only 10 or 30 pounds overweight, a little arthritic, maybe some GERD for which they gladly take a pill. Some people even appear to thrive for a while on less-than-ideal diet and exercise programs. Even I did “adequately” on the Conventional Wisdom plan for a long time, and I’m pretty sure I’d still be doing reasonably well today had I not adopted this PB strategy myself. Of course, I’d be a little more decrepit and arthritic, less energetic, a little weaker and sick more often, and I’d probably still have IBS. And if I didn’t know any better, I’d think all that was normal for a 57-year-old man, so I might even label myself “content.”

A good friend of mine has psoriasis, but it goes away when he avoids gluten. Another friend has IBS that goes away on a gluten free diet as well. I get migraines, but not when I cut out grains, and my recurring heart problems stabilize when get enough water, protein, and cut down on sugar. All of things things could be medicated away, but why? It’s so hard to change the way you eat, but relative to the money and emotional expense of medication, isn’t it worth it? It makes me think about what type of aging I’m willing to accept and what I can actually, actively impact.

It’s a not a total coincidence that I’m think about this after a 19 hour road trip where I lived on Red Bull and fast food. I actually, literally, apologized to myself as I would eat, thinking “I just need to get this drive over with, and then I can care again.” Which: I know better – eating “right” is not a pick and choose your moments kind of battle, not if you want to sustain a long and healthy life, but goddamnit, do you people know how BORING Ohio is to drive through? DO YOU? [cut to Liz, missing the point, again]

ANYWAY, new day and all that. And I’m back to making my choices and thinking about the health I want to have, and reminding myself that I can have an immediate and daily impact on the way I grow up and grow old.

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A friend of mine asked me what I was up to, and I think my reply kind of sums up life right now:

Life is good – we close on a house in Denver in a few weeks. Sadly, or maybe just weirdly, I’ll be in Miami  for work that day so will actually miss the closing – boo! From there I head to DC  [I think] for a quick meeting the next Monday, plus Mike’s USMC promotion, and THEN I head to Minnesota to grab the dog and a car and to drive myself out to CO, so I should be in the new house sometime the first week in February

I’m in DC right now – Mike had foot surgery this week (why not, right?) and we still have a car here that needs to get to Minnesota. So we’re doing that this weekend (“we’re” – see above re foot surgery), along with emptying out a storage unit here in DC and getting all of our non-in-big-storage things in one place (Minnesota). I’m in MN for a few days, then have the above referenced work trip to Miami, and then back to DC, and then back to MN, and then drive to Colorado.

That, my friends, is life these days.

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I recently stumbled across a great new blog and I simply CANNOT stop passing the link around. CaveGirlEats is quickly becoming a favorite of mine – her last two posts have really spoken to me with regards to the purposeful choices we make in our lives, and if we want to get bogged down in excuses for why we can’t do the things we say we want (eat well, workout enough, etc etc). I posted over at Bodies regarding some thoughts on the Paleo/Primal diet, but her thoughts on Crossfit are just as link worthy:

If you can run 6 miles but can’t squat half your body weight; if you can’t clean a heavy item (like a carry-on suitcase) from ground to overhead; if you can Zumba your peers to oblivion but can’t sprint quickly enough to keep a kid from stepping into a dangerously busy street, I would argue that you’re not fit. So get fit! Fitness isn’t about isolation weight machines or putting time in on the treadmill. It’s about working your body’s natural capabilities to keep them for the rest of your life. I want my husband and myself to be able to sit down, tie on our walking shoes, stand back up, and take our ridiculously old pooch for a walk when we’re 85. Decrepitude is NOT a necessity of old age.

This dovetails nicely into a post I read over at Loo.me, which quotes the text of a commencement speech given by CEO/founder of Amazon, Jeff Bezos, titled “We Are What We Choose.” It’s a nice little speech about the meaning and value behind our choices, and worth the click through.

At this time of year, everyone is talking about resolutions and things they can do to live a better life. These two posts – one about purposeful choices in eating and fitness, one about purposeful choices in actions overall – seem like nice bookends to the resolutions we’re making and hoping to implement.

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