If Pride and Prejudice had been written like this, I probably would have finished it.

Feeds:: Posts; Comments

If Pride and Prejudice had been written like this, I probably would have finished it.

February 15, 2012 by LizScott

I find I write here more when I’m reading a lot; good books will get my mind moving and narrating and I find it easy to use this space as an outlet.Which is a segue into why I haven’t been writing here: I’ve been reading SUCH CRAP. It started innocently enough: I was in the Charlotte airport and saw for sale the cheesiest looking book I’ve ever seen:

It was like the subplot of Romancing the Stone come to life. Honestly, I don’t think until that moment I’ve really understood that books like that were real, that people actually wrote them and chose that type of cover and that other people actually bought them. I think in my mind the entire romance novel industry was made up as a fake occupation for Kathleen Turner.

But no: it’s real and it’s writing books titled “Never Seduce a Scoundrel.” So of course i had to to tell my friends; it was like spotting an exotic animal: “Look at this! In the flesh! AROUND PEOPLE!!! Stare and gawk with me!”

Upon receipt of my mocking email (that included the above shot of How To Wed A Wild Lord, because of course I did), a friend wrote back: “Actually… That series is …kind of good.”

You guys. It’s a SERIES. There’s MORE THAN ONE. (Thank you for defining “series”, Liz.) Sure enough: To Wed A Wild Lord is the fourth in the Hellions of Halstad Hall series, and obviously the only thing for me to do was go get the first one – “The Truth About Lord Stoneville”

Look. I’m not proud. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out which was worse: paying money for the book so I could read it on a Kindle and maintain plausible deniability, or getting it for free from the library and show my shame to the world as I read. (I went library- momentary shame on an airplane but no trace of its existence once returned.) (Unless you’re flying with coworkers) (pro tip: smutty paperbacks do NOT fit inside the covers of the latest Harvard Business Review.) (I’ve heard.)

Soooooooo. That’s where I’ve been. Like I said, I’m not proud. These books are basically the same story, over and over, stories that take roughly two hours per book to finish, and while I’m positive those two hours could be used in MUCH BETTER pursuits, for the past few weeks, it’s been the mental chewing gum that I needed. I think I’m about to snap out of if, however, and will be hopefully returning here with many intelligent THOUGHTS about THINGS and not caught up in the web of books like “Let Sleeping Rouges Lie.”

Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

10 Responses

on February 15, 2012 at 2:29 pm | Reply Mike Lewis

I thought you were going to take this post in another direction. I guess the “how to buy smutty books on the iPad” post is still coming. 🙂
- on February 15, 2012 at 3:26 pm | Reply LizScott
  
  Ah yes. Thank you for the reminder. I shall have to post a follow up 🙂
on February 15, 2012 at 3:19 pm | Reply Swistle

“TO WED A WILD LORD”?? I love this whole post.
- on February 15, 2012 at 3:25 pm | Reply LizScott
  
  Swistle: I KNOW. Other amazing titles: Never Seduce a Scoundel, How to Pleasure a Prince, The Dark Lord.
  
  This whole genre is amazing to me. AMAZING.
on February 15, 2012 at 3:46 pm | Reply Kim

Wow, I’m sort of amazed that you took that to an actual circulation desk and handed it to an actual librarian to check out. If I wanted to procure such a book, it would have to be through a website that assures me that it will arrive in plain packaging. I mean, I really could care less if my sex toys show up in packaging with “CAUTION: YOUR POSTAL CLIENT/NEIGHBOR BOUGHT A VIBRATOR”, but that? Needs plain packaging…
- on February 15, 2012 at 3:51 pm | Reply LizScott
  
  KIMBERLY. Are you KIDDING me. Here is how I procured this from the library:
  – requested hold online, had it sent to my local (small storefront) library branch
  – picked it up juuuuuuust before close, so I could use the ‘self serve check out’ feature
  -Threw at bottom of purse, ran to my car, jetted home, checking the rearview window the whole time
  - on February 18, 2012 at 7:35 am Kim
    
    That’s still ballsy, my friend, but far less shameless than I worried you were.
on February 15, 2012 at 4:17 pm | Reply PinkieBling

“Hellions of Halstad Hall,” OMFG. This sounds like GOLD.
- on February 15, 2012 at 4:19 pm | Reply LizScott
  
  Dooooooo it. You know you wanna.
on February 16, 2012 at 9:39 am | Reply TheBoss, aka- "Wild Lord"

What really amazes me is that there is apparently an entire series based on me and I’m only now becoming aware of it. Somebody owes me some royalties.